I Didn't REALLY Mean It...

Sometimes, we say things in the mask of sarcasm, a joke, or even just straight up in anger, that we know we don't actually mean.

And we've come to a point that as long as WE know we don't mean it, or we tell the other person afterward we didn't actually mean it, then no harm done right?!

VERY wrong...

I remember listening to a silly video on YouTube of someone interviewing old couples asking them their best advice for a healthy and fun marriage.

A lot of them gave typical answers such as "spoil each other" "laugh a lot" "go on adventures often" etc.

But the last couple blew my mind, and it wasn't even advice I'd never heard!

But for some reason it just hit me.

They looked into the camera and simply said, "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

Then he went on to ask the cameraman "Have you ever made a comment like 'you're stupid' to a friend, and then laughed to make it not true?" The guy and his buddy laughed and said yes.

The old man asked, "Did you mean it?" There was silence, and then they responded no.

"So why even plant that seed in their mind and spirit? You might've laughed, but the statement didn't change. You still told them they were stupid. And now they will have to wonder how much truth you put behind that statement."

And with that, it brings me to my case.

So often, our culture has normalized the idea that as long as your comment is masked in sarcasm or as a joke, it doesn't matter. You can say almost anything nowadays, and no one will comment, as long as you mask it with humor!

But the fact is, humor doesn't change what your words are saying. You can debate me all you want, but no matter how much you laugh, saying 'I hate you' doesn't change its core meaning.

What you speak into your marriage or friendships will affect the fruits they bear.

Why speak things you don't actually mean? Little do we realize the power our words hold!

Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."

Words do hold spiritual authority and power, and that is something we need to take more seriously, especially as believers.

Ephesians 4:29 also tells us "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

We are quite literally commanded to watch our speech and how we talk to others. And more specifically, we are told to NOT speak corrupt or degrading words to each other, but uplifting words!

Ephesians 5:1-4 it says "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving."

All this tells us one thing is clear. Speak the truth, speak fruitful words, and avoid damaging speech. We are called to IMITATE GOD! Would God ever tell you "Hah! You're so dumb for doing that!" NO. That is completely against his character. And if it is against His character, shouldn't we also be that way?

We often joke and paint God and his humor with us as how we see our humor, saying things like "Man I know God's calling me dumb for doing that haha!" but the truth is, that's OUR CULTURES speech, not our God's. He is our friend, but He doesn't speak like the world does.

All this to say, we need to be aware of our speech towards one another. As friends, in romantic relationships, strangers, everyone. Because how we speak to each other will be a HUGE factor in that relationship's health and durability! Especially in our marriage!

Be a woman of God who speaks words that embody the fruits of the spirit, and if they oppose them, use wisdom, and hold your tongue.